Lesser-Used Verbs for how Hurricane Sandy Entered, Exited the New York Last Week

Happy one-week anniverso of Queen Sandy’s reign and fall, Easy Coasters! Man, this time last week we all had no idea how fucked we’d be (while the more diabolical among us had an overstated idea of how fucked we’d be, bless their hearts)! And now it’s all over, Sandy having left in her big fat bitchy wake a whole buncha tore-up boroughs and New Jersey-parts, a seriously disturbed NYC public transit system (#pray4Gtrain) and a lot of darkness, wetness and despair (not unlike a seedy S&M club from an episode of Law & Order SVU!). Not to mention — some truly winning journalism. Among the volumes written about Sandy, even the least discerning wordsmith could spot a 4th grader’s vocabulary test’s worth of Action Verbs describing Sandy’s movements into New York — the most used, according to my exploration, included: barreling, crashing, striking, crushing, etc., etc.. Child’s play, y’all! If I were a journalist (dream: given up on, circa sometime last September), I’d have implemented some DEEP CUTS from the English verb arsenal, like:

- Ambled

- Meandered

- Swaggered

- Sashayed

- Wheeled

- Rioted

- Shimmied (!!!)

- Felt her way

- Joy-rode

- Crept (menacingly, ominously, ravenously)

- Probed with conviction

- Butted

- Penetrated multi-orifically 

- Pirouetted, with flirtatious bravado

- Reverse-spelunked from Hell 

- Accessed without proper credentials

- Flung herself naked upon the bed, without ceremony

- Flitted like a little pansy bitch

- Prodded the landmass mercilessly 

  1. laurenspendsmoney posted this