Look at all these comically stupid things on sale right now on stylemint.com, you guys.
I’ll take the “floating rubber waisted suspender trousers” please, and a “bell sleeved wrist-length pirate top” and hmm, hmm, the “DJ tanner denim rodeo skirt?” and ok, ok fuck it, it’s Friday, throw in one of those “undulating verdant abyss screen-printed t-shirts” please. Thanks.
The way I feel about Ann Friedman is the way I felt about the cool girls in high school who WERE NOT the “cool girls” but were literally cool fuckin’ girls who would be cool their whole lives and get married in a cool way and have cool jobs and live in cool cities in cool houses and now I’m older so it’s not as tragic but I still feel butterflyish when I see stuff Ann Friedman does, for this reason
I’ve been saying it for years. A decade maybe. Since Limited Too started doing bandeaus that one season. None of you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, summer — best season for dressing, been saying it for years. Good time to play with slutty clothes and get away with it because you pretend you’re hanging out at that summer camp Dirty Dancing is set at where tight, skimpy clothes were oddly chaste and you’d never get an abortion but you’ve got the gusto to ask your pops to fund one for your friend.
I’m loving these new off-the-shoulder sweetheart necklines I’m seeing right now. They’re a little tawdry, a little sweet. Like Tawdry Hepburn. Totally a-whore-able. Futuristic but nostalgic for a gauzy-er age. Something you’d wear if you were an extra in the prom scene in Grease but surprise it was in ~SPACE~. Come to think of it, it’s a wonder shoulders are so OK to bare like that. They kinda are boob-esque. You’d think off-the-shoulder styles would have been way less popular in the 50s and super more popular now. DISCUSS.
Anyway, winners:
“Savannah” Chambray Crop Top, $48
This top looks like it will require constant upward tugging. But during the few brief moments where it’s actually sitting correctly on your torso, damn yallook good. How cute with my high-waisted polka dotted pleated skirt jesus save me I want a new life.
This is a perfect everyday dress. If your everyday lifestyle is to smoke USA Golds on the back of your overweight 65-year-old boyfriend’s motorcycle somewhere deep in the Dakotas. Would look ideal with these and a Big Gulp. Will I ever have $58 dollars though? No.
Red “Cold Shoulder” Dress, $80
It would be great to see this on a model but as this post proves, I never fucking get what I want. Anyway this looks actually classy, like something Aunt Becky would have worn during a Christmas special of “Full House.” I would de-Aunt-Becky it with ankle socks and loafers and then omg look, suddenly I’m channeling Heathers. Dress, you are all kinds!
Ok, so ignoring the fact that literally no one outside of the world of The Sims can wear a knit body-con dress and not look like a garden snake that just ate at a Golden Corral, this dress is too perfect. I would never wear it with such stupid earrings but who knows what goes on at ASOS, they’re super European. Regardless, regardless, perfect example of a sweetheart neck and off-shoulders. Would like to pump gas in this, like Miley Cyrus that one time, but so so so much better.
“every day when my mailman leaves and we say goodbye he ALWAYS SAYS ‘should be all right. what the heck.’
never forget *~angels in america~*
This is great to me. I’ve always had a special place in my heart for Calvin Klein. So 90s. So glamorous. So simple. So easily manipulated to fit into hip hop street style culture.
